Shit- Nami
There is no rhyme or reason for what I am about to share, except it’s too classic not to.
Please,
Enjoy!
Every parent has a poop story right?
I have plenty of blowout memories, but there is one, in particular, that stinks out in my mind (see what I did there).
It was just a normal Tuesday morning while my husband was getting ready to go to work.
I lay in bed, scrolling the internet, and I hear my 4 year old son, Eli, emerge from his room.
My husband speaks to him and Eli says “Daddy poop is coming out of my butt!”.
“Okay Bud, go to the bathroom!” responds my husband.
What happened next is not for the faint of heart…
A few minutes had passed and my husband walked into the bathroom to check on Eli. Without hesitation he says “Bud! What the HELL happened?!”
I jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I no sooner got into the dining room and the smell hit my face like a sucker punch.
The nastiest and most putrid smelling shit I had smelt, to date, was emanating from our bathroom.
“Damn it!”, I thought, as I prepared to walk into ground zero.
There it was, the shit story I had been waiting for, all over my guest bath.
Poop on the walls, poop on the floor, poop in his footie pajamas and toddler briefs. I was standing in the middle of a Shit-Nami! (like a Tsunami except with shit)
My husband was furious, he doesn’t do well with poop situations, so I excused him from the scene.
I turned to my son who had been tossed in the shower, waiting to be sprayed down. The tears were rolling down his little red cheeks and he was scared that he was in trouble.
As I gently cleaned the fecal remnants from his tiny body, I took the time to explain that he was not in trouble and that accidents happen.
Just as the tears stopped, my 2 year old daughter, Reese, broke into the bathroom. She took one look around, squished up her nose in disgust, and said “ Oh SHIT Bubbs!”. We all busted into laughter as I continued to clean up Eli.
I was really shocked at how well I composed myself. Being such a neat freak (OCD), I figured that shit everywhere would put me into orbit. Nope, held it together like a real pro!
I did what any mother would do in a shitcapade: I burned the shitty clothes, I wore Haz- Mat PPE to clean the mess and I used every last can of disinfectant spray the Dollar General had to offer.
Had you been there, you’d have never witnessed something so graceful.
What I LEARNED::
My child does not tolerate rich foods before bed.
COVID masks and vicks vapor rub made the smell bearable.
When cleaning up a kids poop mess, get down on their level, so you get it ALL.