Responsible Mama
Our job as parents, is to teach our kids how to become responsible adults.
No pressure on us parents at all, but when do we start to teach them this lifelong responsibility anyway?
When you’re living in parenthood, the timeline is so blurry. One minute, you're feeding them and wiping their butts. The next, you're teaching them how to load the dishwasher and make their bed.
What sucks is there’s no intermission, no time out, you are just supposed to switch gears. So please, excuse me, while I compartmentalize my anxiety and dive right into the most important job I'll ever have. Things should turn out nicely for my kids. HA!
Eli scared the shit out of us this weekend at a gathering, and it triggered me to really dig into this whole responsibility thing.
In an attempt to avoid boring you with the details; Eli ran away from me, he didn’t come when I called him and the rest was basically me seeing red.
I pulled him into the car and we drove home. The whole drive home, I was furiously listening to music, wondering what I needed to do to never have that happen again.
Wanna know what I did?
please keep in mind this is my parenthood journey, and I never know what I am doing.
It's like I’m playing a really important game of improv and hoping it turns out okay.
First- I took away TV shows for five days. When I told him, it was like watching a desktop computer short circuit in the 90’s. Poor kid loves him some Cat In The Hat, so this will be tough for him.
Then- I went into his room, held up two stuffed animals, and had him choose one. Right after he chose his beloved “wiggly bear”, I emptied the rest of his room: toys, nick knacks, everything came out!
He cried out for his things and it was so pitiful. “That's my favorite train! That's my other favorite train! Those are my favorite slippers! True first world problems up in our house.
I left his bedding, his books and a lamp, the rest of his crap is neatly stored in totes in the basement.
While tucking him in I said, “I thought I lost one of my favorite things today. I am sorry, but I have to take your favorite things, so you learn the importance of listening. You’ll get them back, but you’ll need to earn them back.”
“Was that too extreme? Am I being extra?” I thought as I was bringing his things downstairs.
“Nope, not at all, I need to stay strong. He needs to learn to listen to you and he needs to know there are consequences for his actions!”
That night, I printed out a list of house rules and placed them above the time out chair.
Each morning we will read them out loud, together. I hope that this will be a daily reminder of his and his sisters' place in our family; we are the parents and they are the children.
Finally- I dug out a “Responsibility Chart” that was a gift and I felt it was too mature for him at the time. Together, we found a handful of things he can do each day to help earn back his things.
Today, he earned back three items and he proudly returned them back to their places. As I watched him choose his things, I hoped that he knows just how much I love him.
Even though I may be a little extra, I am committed to raising responsible children. If it takes “Red Ashley” for me to set an example, well, here I am bitches!