Quicksand & Lava
Welcome aboard the struggle bus!
Next stop, ADULTHOOD!
When I was five, my only memories of worrying were about Quicksand & Lava. These were rational fears, fears that were confirmed by all Saturday morning cartoons! Could ya really blame me for being paranoid?
But now, as an adult, I know I was worried about all the wrong shit!
I really should have been focusing on contributions to a retirement fund and how to peel a damn hard boiled egg.
I found out fast that being an adult isn't just what Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil (Rugrats) portrayed for us in their elaborate day to day schemes.
Adulthood is about being prepared for anything, sticking to a plan and allowing the strength to find you in your moments of weakness…
…Blah, Blah, Blah…
To be real here, adulthood sucks!
99% of the time I am just winging it, in the hopes I've made the right choices and that everyone comes out safely on the other side.
Like most, I only post the good stuff on social media, I worry too much about things that I can't control, I have to force myself to live in the moment and I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The funny thing is, when my friends or family need me, I always try to give them profound and inspiring advice. Which is actually, the exact opposite of what I do, but exactly what I would want to hear.
We all do this right?!?
When I grow up, I want to be the girl who listens to her own advice.
I especially want to be the one who normalizes the bullshit we ALL go through as adults.
Just incase you needed a laugh, I have put together a list of my own personal bullshit struggles.
Quicksand & Lava List
Losing my phone in the house & then remembering that shit is on silent.
Changing a shitty diaper on a moving toddler.
Carrying a weeks worth of grocery bags into the house in one trip.
Keeping clothes on my child.
Justifying a lavish purchase to my husband.
Constantly narrating the day for my kids.
Filling my gas tank before it hits ¼ of a tank & doing so the night before, LOL.
Keeping my car clean, like before I had kids.
Washing, drying, drying, drying again & then folding the laundry.
Using the bathroom alone because currently, it’s a spectator sport in our house.
Forgetting to lock the front door but remembering to set the alarm.
Always the one who refills household items; i.e. toilet paper, water, coffee, wipes, soap, etc.
Making sure that medical billers are charging us the right amount, then spending hours on hold & months sending paid claims & EOB’s to the biller. Why I have to do someone else's job is beyond me!
Losing my wallet on a plane on the first day of my first kidless vacation!
Replacing everything in said wallet.
Having Aunt Flo arrive on my wedding day. Really Dude?!
Spending countless hours in the drop off/ pick up line at my kids school. I mean, what in the actual F@ck happened to school buses?
Arriving home from grocery shopping only to find out I forgot something that I needed for dinner.
Realizing I never pre-treated a stain before washing/drying the item. WTF!
Driving through our garage door, because my kids needed something & I thought I was in park but actually in neutral. (Please refer to: explaining lavish purchases to my husband)
Full Disclosure:
Sometimes I wish Quicksand & Lava were still my greatest worries in life, I feel like my chances of survival would be much higher.
Love you, mean it!